Sep
12
2008
I read this earlier this week and felt the immediate need to take produce a tidal-wave of vomit, one that would wipe out every single person on the planet who thinks and feels the same way as the woman in charge of this chat.
It’s times like these I am grateful for Michael because we took [...]
Jul
28
2008
Last night, as Michael and I are strolling through a mostly-closed mall towards our car, I note the long line of people (nerds, young professionals) waiting outside an Apple store.
I ask Michael why people are lined up, “are they giving out free blow jobs at the Apple store?”
Nope, he tells me. They’re lined up (14 [...]
Jul
22
2008
I’m in the process of looking up ideas and brainstorming about cheap and interesting centerpieces for my youngest sister’s graduation party. I like these idle things. Here’s what I absolutely, positively, can not stand:
People who recommend using fish as centerpieces. Here’s a newsflash, Martha Stewart wannabes: Fish are living creatures. A fish in a small [...]
Jul
15
2008
I’ve taken the liberty of removing the depressing parts of today’s news, so that you, the reader, may enjoy it without requiring prescription medication. Enjoy!
Oil prices [...] $8 on economic [...]
By ADAM SCHRECK, AP Business Writer
NEW YORK - Oil prices [...] Tuesday as [...] about the nation’s [...] moved to the fore and [...] that [...]
Jun
19
2008
Anyone who is pro-ana. Walk away right now, because I know you’re just going to throw a fit about how no one understands you and how you have every right to do what you want to your own body. You’re right, you do. But don’t think for a minute that the way you take care [...]
Jun
16
2008
Folks, I’m a big believer in individual rights. I think if you have the resources to start a business, you should be allowed to. But I think a pro-life drugstore is a dangerous machination intended to prevent women from taking care of themselves. Let me tell you why.
I’ve mentioned before that women are often prescribed [...]
Jun
04
2008
Dear St. Matthew’s Church,
It was with great interest that I read your recent letter inviting me to use and return your “prayer rug.” As a holy man myself, I’m writing to tell you of my experience with the prayer rug.
Since you referred to the rug variously as a “Holy Ghost, Bible Prayer Rug”; a “Church [...]
May
14
2008
Someone sent me a message on Yahoo! Answers to start an argument the other day. I gave them the benefit of the doubt. I looked at the site they sent me, did some of my own research and sent back a reasonable reply, asking for the sources for some of their “facts” and questioning a [...]
May
02
2008
I read an article on alternet.org about avoiding marriage. I write short declarative sentences.
I disagreed with it. As I often do.
I see this sentiment everywhere: how does one maintain individuality within a marriage?
The short answer: You don’t, at least, not in so many words.
But what I mean is this - at some point, we [...]
May
01
2008
The Washington Post ran an article today about - horrors of horrors - how the recession has caused families to cut coupons, visit stores closer to home, organize their errands in the most efficient possible way and stop eating organic.
Excuse me while I shed a tear or two.
Families with many kids have been doing this [...]