Kara & Michael's Blog » Comedy http://blog.4d2.org Because everyone else already has one Sat, 28 Jan 2012 07:28:29 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 The Man Your Man Could Smell Like http://blog.4d2.org/2010/02/19/the-man-your-man-could-smell-like/ http://blog.4d2.org/2010/02/19/the-man-your-man-could-smell-like/#comments Fri, 19 Feb 2010 23:02:24 +0000 Michael http://blog.4d2.org/?p=1132 I find the commercial below absolutely hilarious, for a variety of reasons that would take much longer to explain than it will take you to just watch the commercial:

THE TICKETS ARE NOW DIAMONDS!

The thing I find most impressive about this commercial, after watching it for the twelfth time, is that it appears to be done entirely in a single shot. CGI notwithstanding, that’s pretty cool.

]]> http://blog.4d2.org/2010/02/19/the-man-your-man-could-smell-like/feed/ 1 Another Pathetic Scam Letter http://blog.4d2.org/2009/09/10/another-pathetic-scam-letter/ http://blog.4d2.org/2009/09/10/another-pathetic-scam-letter/#comments Thu, 10 Sep 2009 13:01:05 +0000 Michael http://blog.4d2.org/?p=1103 Here at 4d2 dot org, we get a lot of spam. Most of it I just flush out of the SpamAssassin quarantine, but sometimes one arrives that looks particularly amusing. This one is my new favorite.

UNITED STATE OF AMERICA
OFFICE OF THE SECETARY OF STATE
COMMITTEE ON FOREIGN PAYMENT
(RESOLUTION PANEL ON PAYMENT)
WASHINTON DC
UNITED STATE OF AMERICA

From The Desk Of The
UNITED STATE OF AMERICA
HILLARY CLINTON.

Attention:SIR/MADDAM

I wish to use this medium and my new office to inform you that your
CONTRACT/INHERITANCE Payment of USD$6m (SIX Million Dollars) from FEDERAL RESERVE
BANK NEW YORK have been RELEASED and APPROVED for onward transfer to you via an ATM
CARD which you will use to withdraw all the USD$6m in any ATM SERVICE MACHINE in any
part of the world, but the maximum you can withdraw in a day is USD$6000 Only

The UNITED STATE OF AMERICA government have mandated Bank Of England, to send you
the ATM CARD and PIN NUMBER with other relivant document from our government and
british government and the united nation,You are therefore advice to contact
director and the Head of ATM CARD Department of Bank Of England

Contact Person: Mr.Hoffman Okiri
Bank:BANK OF ENGLAND(LONDON)
Phone number: +447024035504
Fax: +442070600934
EMAIL: (mr.hoffmanokiri@sify.com)

Tell Mr.Hoffman Okiri that you received a message from the OFFICE OF THE SECETARY OF
STATE UNITED STATE OF AMERICA to send you the ATM CARD and PIN NUMBER AND ALL THE
DOCUMENT which you will use to withdraw your USD$6 Million Dollars,also send him
your direct phone number and contact address where you want him to send the ATM CARD
and PIN NUMBER to you BUT YOU WILL PAY FOR THE LITTLE INSURANCE AND SHIPMENT FEES
FOR DELIVARY.all the document regards to the release of the funds has been handed
over to Mr.Hoffman Okiri for delivary SO CONTACT HIM NOW FOR DELIVARY

We are very sorry for the plight you have gone through in the past years. Thanks for
adhering to this instruction and once again accept our congratulations.

Best Regards.

MRS. HILLARY CLINTON
OFFICE OF THE SECETARY OF STATE

]]> http://blog.4d2.org/2009/09/10/another-pathetic-scam-letter/feed/ 1 U.S. v. Your Lunch http://blog.4d2.org/2009/01/28/us-v-your-lunch/ http://blog.4d2.org/2009/01/28/us-v-your-lunch/#comments Wed, 28 Jan 2009 15:19:40 +0000 Michael http://blog.4d2.org/?p=869 Apparently, in the old days it used to be a lot easier to sue things. The following is a (non-exhaustive) list of inanimate objects against which the United States has actually filed suit:

  • Four Hundred Forty-Three Cans of Frozen Egg Product
  • Forty Barrels and Twenty Kegs of Coca Cola
  • Ninety-Five Barrels (More or Less) Alleged Apple Cider Vinegar
  • Ninety-Nine Diamonds
  • Manufacturing Apparatus, Oleomargarine, and Raw Materials of Western Oleomargarine Co.
  • One Blue Taffeta Evening Coat
  • One Dark Bay Horse1
  • Seven Hundred Seventy-Nine Cases Molasses
  • Seventy-Four Cases Grape Juice
  • Six Hundred Forty-Six Half-Boxes of Figs
  • Six Hundred and Fifty Cases Tomato Catsup
  • Six Lots of Ground
  • Thirty-Six Bottles of London Dry Gin
  • Three Tons of Coal
  • Two Barrels Desiccated Eggs
  • Two Hundred Eighteen and One-Half Carats Loose Emeralds
  • Two Hundred Sixty-Seven Twenty-Dollar Gold Pieces

There are legitimate stories behind all of these (the Coca Cola case and the apple cider vinegar case are of some historical importance), but this stuff still cracks me up.

It’s also worth noting that the owners of the Four Hundred Forty-Three Cans of Frozen Egg Product filed an appeal, taking their case to the Supreme Court as “Four Hundred Forty-Three Cans of Frozen Egg Product v. United States.”

If I was a law student, this would be the only part of class that I’d enjoy.

1  OK, a horse isn’t inanimate. So sue me.

]]> http://blog.4d2.org/2009/01/28/us-v-your-lunch/feed/ 0 I Associated with Your Mom Last Night http://blog.4d2.org/2009/01/12/i-associated-with-your-mom-last-night/ http://blog.4d2.org/2009/01/12/i-associated-with-your-mom-last-night/#comments Mon, 12 Jan 2009 13:53:36 +0000 Michael http://blog.4d2.org/?p=803 This advertisement appeared in our local paper yesterday.

It just cracks me up every time I read it. It’s worded exactly the wrong way and I love that. If it had said “Dr. Crouch, urologist, announces his association…” it wouldn’t have been funny at all.

]]> http://blog.4d2.org/2009/01/12/i-associated-with-your-mom-last-night/feed/ 7 An Apparition http://blog.4d2.org/2008/06/18/an-apparition/ http://blog.4d2.org/2008/06/18/an-apparition/#comments Wed, 18 Jun 2008 23:28:35 +0000 Kara http://blog.4d2.org/?p=402 I hope that “Bob” won’t regard this as a sacrilege, but Flying Spaghetti Monster appeared to me last night on my cutting board.  I doubt “Bob” minds so long as he gets his profits.

FSM Apparition

I simply pulled the garlic scapes out of their packaging and set them on the cutting board, and they formed this shape, looking much like the FSM. The kale I chopped and potatoes I peeled did no such thing, I can only imagine this means that he FSM has laid his noodly appendage on the scapes in particular.  Unsurprising, since they smelled much better than the potatoes and kale.

I wonder if I should alert the press, or at least our CSA to the fact that something holy is happening in those fields.

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