Jun
18
2008
I hope that “Bob” won’t regard this as a sacrilege, but Flying Spaghetti Monster appeared to me last night on my cutting board. I doubt “Bob” minds so long as he gets his profits.
I simply pulled the garlic scapes out of their packaging and set them on the cutting board, and they formed this shape, [...]
Jun
04
2008
Dear St. Matthew’s Church,
It was with great interest that I read your recent letter inviting me to use and return your “prayer rug.” As a holy man myself, I’m writing to tell you of my experience with the prayer rug.
Since you referred to the rug variously as a “Holy Ghost, Bible Prayer Rug”; a “Church [...]
May
30
2008
You know what Nintendo dorks and piercing fetishists have in common?
Modded Wiis.
[snort]
Jan
30
2008
I’ve been trawling around on Yahoo! Answers for the last week or so, collecting what I like to call the “worst” of the questions and answers that appear on the site. For what it’s worth, I’ve also been answering questions — in an attempt to offset the negative karma I am doubtless accruing by poking [...]
Jan
23
2008
Ahh, Yahoo! Answers. A place where anyone can ask a question and have it answered by…well, anyone. When pressing personal problems confront you, why wait for the sage advice of Abby, Margo, Carolyn, Amy or myriad others, when you can have your question answered right now by the unwashed masses?
Yahoo! Answers is simultaneously one of [...]
Nov
16
2007
We watched Sleepwalkers last night. It’s a terrible, terrible movie. It does have Mädchen Amick in it, but we were both fairly disappointed that she stayed dressed for the whole film.
On the plus side, however, it did lead me to create what I’m sure will be the next big internet meme:
Jan
24
2006
Now, I know it’s not fair to call the customers in an electronics store stupid — after all, the majority of them are probably decent, upstanding human beings. But when high-tech and everyday necessity collide, there are often unfortunate results. The following are misusages and bizarre substitutions for a variety of computer-related terms, all of [...]
Jun
05
2005
While ADD/ADHD is well-known and far from uncommon in children, it is much less commonly known that between 2 and 4 percent of the adult population suffer from the same symptoms. Almost universally, these symptoms begin in childhood. In Adult ADD, they never completely disappear. For many people, the disorder goes unrecognized until they are [...]