Jan 28 2009

U.S. v. Your Lunch

Published by at 11:19 am under Comedy

Apparently, in the old days it used to be a lot easier to sue things. The following is a (non-exhaustive) list of inanimate objects against which the United States has actually filed suit:

  • Four Hundred Forty-Three Cans of Frozen Egg Product
  • Forty Barrels and Twenty Kegs of Coca Cola
  • Ninety-Five Barrels (More or Less) Alleged Apple Cider Vinegar
  • Ninety-Nine Diamonds
  • Manufacturing Apparatus, Oleomargarine, and Raw Materials of Western Oleomargarine Co.
  • One Blue Taffeta Evening Coat
  • One Dark Bay Horse1
  • Seven Hundred Seventy-Nine Cases Molasses
  • Seventy-Four Cases Grape Juice
  • Six Hundred Forty-Six Half-Boxes of Figs
  • Six Hundred and Fifty Cases Tomato Catsup
  • Six Lots of Ground
  • Thirty-Six Bottles of London Dry Gin
  • Three Tons of Coal
  • Two Barrels Desiccated Eggs
  • Two Hundred Eighteen and One-Half Carats Loose Emeralds
  • Two Hundred Sixty-Seven Twenty-Dollar Gold Pieces

There are legitimate stories behind all of these (the Coca Cola case and the apple cider vinegar case are of some historical importance), but this stuff still cracks me up.

It’s also worth noting that the owners of the Four Hundred Forty-Three Cans of Frozen Egg Product filed an appeal, taking their case to the Supreme Court as “Four Hundred Forty-Three Cans of Frozen Egg Product v. United States.”

If I was a law student, this would be the only part of class that I’d enjoy.

1  OK, a horse isn’t inanimate. So sue me.

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