Wednesday, January 28, 2009
PETA really loves vegetables. If that’s how PETA feels about vegetables and they love animals too, I’m waiting for the bestiality ad. Is this ad aimed at men or women? Women are a lot more likely to become vegetarian, but men are a lot more likely to find the transference of a woman licking asparagus [...]
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Apparently, in the old days it used to be a lot easier to sue things. The following is a (non-exhaustive) list of inanimate objects against which the United States has actually filed suit: Four Hundred Forty-Three Cans of Frozen Egg Product Forty Barrels and Twenty Kegs of Coca Cola Ninety-Five Barrels (More or Less) Alleged [...]
I bought an espresso at Starbucks at Union Station on my way home the other day. I walked in and asked for a “double espresso.” I even said “please”, as I recall. “A doppio,” the woman at the counter responded. Let me clarify at this point, lest I seem totally insane to the reader, that [...]
Michael and I were shopping at our local co-op just past the holidays, and they had a sale on tofurky roasts. Maybe if you’re not a fan of meat analogues, you wouldn’t be interested in such a thing. But I have frequently looked at tofurky roasts, ultimately deciding not to pick them up because, well, [...]
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Every day now, there’s some news story about the economy in which some aspect of the current crisis exceeds analysts’ expectations. Yesterday it was “Consumer spending plummets twice as much as expected”; today it’s “Jobless claims up more than expected.” Have you noticed this? This has been going on for months now, and it occurs [...]
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Vocabulary is not a weapon to be deployed against those you consider inferior. Especially when you aren’t very good at it. I congratulate you on your understanding of the difference between “between” and “among”, but “betwixt” is not a fancier way to say “among.” I thought you were just being funny the first time. “Allude” [...]
This advertisement appeared in our local paper yesterday. It just cracks me up every time I read it. It’s worded exactly the wrong way and I love that. If it had said “Dr. Crouch, urologist, announces his association…” it wouldn’t have been funny at all.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
There’s a $60-per-month diet pill being advertised online, the ingredient label for which reads: Active ingredient: 1,3,7-trimethylxanthine 100mg (pharmaceutical grade) Those who aren’t organic chemistry hobbyists, please follow the link above for an explanation. The best part is the one review website I found that’s full of statements from satisfied customers like “special weight loss [...]
At some point over the Holidays, Michael and I were blessed with a new cat. It appeared to us on the stairway of our rowhouse and did its kitty thing of rolling over on the ground and rubbing against things to show us how adorable and loveable it was. I just wanted to feed it, [...]