Skip to content

Things I Learned from Lifetime Movies Today

  • If you’re a nice guy, the woman you’re dating won’t care if you’re married so long as you have a good excuse.
  • There are, of course, no consequences to having an extra-marital relationship when you finally get a divorce.
  • A guy who takes you on a vacation after two weeks of dating and gets one room with one bed doesn’t expect to get laid.
  • If you’re ever kidnapped, the kidnapper won’t kill you because he loves you.
  • You will fall in love with your own kidnapper and have romantic sex.
  • Your own husband is trying to kill you.
  • You can kill a small dog with half a cup of rat poison.

I’m going to go do something useful for my brain and unload moving boxes from the car and then plan out some meals for the week.

2 Comments

  1. Michael wrote:

    The last one is definitely true. I know because you can kill your wife with two cups of rat poison.

    On a totally unrelated note, I made you some Kool-Aid. It turned out really gritty but it’s Tropical Punch flavor, so you should probably, y’know, drink the entire pitcher in one sitting.

    Tuesday, November 18, 2008 at 9:48 am | Permalink
  2. Dankoozy wrote:

    If you succeed in breaking into someone’s house and boiling their pet rabbit they fall in love with you

    Tuesday, November 25, 2008 at 3:35 pm | Permalink

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *
*
*