Nov 17 2008

Things I Learned from Lifetime Movies Today

Published by at 1:11 pm under TV

  • If you’re a nice guy, the woman you’re dating won’t care if you’re married so long as you have a good excuse.
  • There are, of course, no consequences to having an extra-marital relationship when you finally get a divorce.
  • A guy who takes you on a vacation after two weeks of dating and gets one room with one bed doesn’t expect to get laid.
  • If you’re ever kidnapped, the kidnapper won’t kill you because he loves you.
  • You will fall in love with your own kidnapper and have romantic sex.
  • Your own husband is trying to kill you.
  • You can kill a small dog with half a cup of rat poison.

I’m going to go do something useful for my brain and unload moving boxes from the car and then plan out some meals for the week.

2 responses so far

2 Responses to “Things I Learned from Lifetime Movies Today”

  1. Michael says:

    The last one is definitely true. I know because you can kill your wife with two cups of rat poison.

    On a totally unrelated note, I made you some Kool-Aid. It turned out really gritty but it’s Tropical Punch flavor, so you should probably, y’know, drink the entire pitcher in one sitting.

  2. Dankoozy says:

    If you succeed in breaking into someone’s house and boiling their pet rabbit they fall in love with you

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