Comments on: The Pickup Artist Sucks http://blog.4d2.org/2008/10/17/thepickup/ Because everyone else already has one Wed, 01 Feb 2012 02:58:07 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Jim http://blog.4d2.org/2008/10/17/thepickup/comment-page-1/#comment-6007 Jim Mon, 28 Jun 2010 17:43:01 +0000 http://blog.4d2.org/?p=688#comment-6007 Hi Kara, I was just browsing the web for insight onto what women think of the whole pickup artist thing and I came across your blog. I can say it was pretty funny but maybe a little negative. Maybe if you looked at it from a guy's point of view you would understand his position a little better. In my experience, women simply don't seem to get what they want out of life in so many arenas. This in my opinion is because many of them lack an assertive attitude. I have a gay friend who even manifests this problem, he just never goes for what he wants so he usually has to settle for compromises; in all aspects of life. Men are built a little differently, we don't necessarily have to burn the candle at both ends, so to speak, but a man definitely has to be burning the candle at all times if he does not want to get steamrolled by life and all the other male competition out there. Life for men often boils down to your assertiveness and willingness to take risks and put yourself in the line of fire. Little wonder women often see this about men as being attractive(?). I'll admit I myself only have modest experience with dating. It's ironic I guess that I can be assertive in other aspects of life but I have trouble expressing my feelings to women. I also agree with you that they treat women like notches on a bedpost which is kinda lame, I would rather a few experiences I really cherish than a bunch of notches. Which brings me to another point, most of these guys have low self esteem so they need to have a certain number of conquests in order to validate themselves. If that's the case then those guys are just losers. BTW: I JUST got an interview for a new job because I kept calling to make sure I got noticed. See, in a world like this a man has to be assertive or else he goes unnoticed. But if you have the guts to be assertive the sky is the limit! Hi Kara,
I was just browsing the web for insight onto what women think of the whole pickup artist thing and I came across your blog. I can say it was pretty funny but maybe a little negative. Maybe if you looked at it from a guy’s point of view you would understand his position a little better.
In my experience, women simply don’t seem to get what they want out of life in so many arenas. This in my opinion is because many of them lack an assertive attitude. I have a gay friend who even manifests this problem, he just never goes for what he wants so he usually has to settle for compromises; in all aspects of life. Men are built a little differently, we don’t necessarily have to burn the candle at both ends, so to speak, but a man definitely has to be burning the candle at all times if he does not want to get steamrolled by life and all the other male competition out there.

Life for men often boils down to your assertiveness and willingness to take risks and put yourself in the line of fire. Little wonder women often see this about men as being attractive(?). I’ll admit I myself only have modest experience with dating. It’s ironic I guess that I can be assertive in other aspects of life but I have trouble expressing my feelings to women. I also agree with you that they treat women like notches on a bedpost which is kinda lame, I would rather a few experiences I really cherish than a bunch of notches. Which brings me to another point, most of these guys have low self esteem so they need to have a certain number of conquests in order to validate themselves. If that’s the case then those guys are just losers.

BTW: I JUST got an interview for a new job because I kept calling to make sure I got noticed. See, in a world like this a man has to be assertive or else he goes unnoticed. But if you have the guts to be assertive the sky is the limit!

]]> By: Bob Neve http://blog.4d2.org/2008/10/17/thepickup/comment-page-1/#comment-4536 Bob Neve Sat, 13 Jun 2009 21:35:58 +0000 http://blog.4d2.org/?p=688#comment-4536 Hey Kara, I ran across your blog searching for that psycho the pickup artist -- you have a great blog! I'm a therapist that helps people to build lasting relationships with people with whom they are comfortably matched. Sounds like you and Michael are happily coupled, and I very much like your advice here -- you are right on. There are many simple rules that can help a guy find a girl, and like you say, it's basically 1. talk to a lot of girls, respond to the ones that respond to you, don't waste time with ones that don't respond, looking for your match, not the hottest, richest, funniest girl in the room; 2. notice everything about the girl you're with (not in a stalker kinda way, but in a fun way, pointing out how cute her good points and idiosyncrasies are), 3. confidence, being yourself, enjoying yourself, not taking yourself too seriously, having a sense of humor and fun, dressing like a casual person (no dirty tattered clothes and good shoes). What's really interesting you say is "don't let anyone advise you on your romantic life" -- I see your point, I think, no one else can know what you see in another person and if they are right for you, ... no one should ever say "she's the one for you" or "you can do better than her". People have to decide that for themselves. Your only point I have to disagree with is the "making lots of mistakes", I find that I can help my clients by sharing with them the mistakes other people have made, letting them know what doesn't work -- and then helping them to chance the bad habits they can't seem to control. What’s really interesting though, is one of my exercises I have my clients do is actually go to a bar and make mistakes to desensitize themselves – so when they do make mistakes, it wont be a big crushing blow. I actually have guys approach hot girls and say stupid lines that have no chance of working then walk away, just to get them used to talking to hot girls (build confidence) and to get them used to being rejected (makes rejection less painful) and to exercise their sense of humor. So yea, making mistakes is good – we learn from them – and letting other’s know what mistakes we’ve made helps them too. Anyway, I liked your blog so much, would you mind if I put a link to your blog from my webpage? Hey Kara,
I ran across your blog searching for that psycho the pickup artist — you have a great blog! I’m a therapist that helps people to build lasting relationships with people with whom they are comfortably matched. Sounds like you and Michael are happily coupled, and I very much like your advice here — you are right on. There are many simple rules that can help a guy find a girl, and like you say, it’s basically 1. talk to a lot of girls, respond to the ones that respond to you, don’t waste time with ones that don’t respond, looking for your match, not the hottest, richest, funniest girl in the room; 2. notice everything about the girl you’re with (not in a stalker kinda way, but in a fun way, pointing out how cute her good points and idiosyncrasies are), 3. confidence, being yourself, enjoying yourself, not taking yourself too seriously, having a sense of humor and fun, dressing like a casual person (no dirty tattered clothes and good shoes). What’s really interesting you say is “don’t let anyone advise you on your romantic life” — I see your point, I think, no one else can know what you see in another person and if they are right for you, … no one should ever say “she’s the one for you” or “you can do better than her”. People have to decide that for themselves. Your only point I have to disagree with is the “making lots of mistakes”, I find that I can help my clients by sharing with them the mistakes other people have made, letting them know what doesn’t work — and then helping them to chance the bad habits they can’t seem to control. What’s really interesting though, is one of my exercises I have my clients do is actually go to a bar and make mistakes to desensitize themselves – so when they do make mistakes, it wont be a big crushing blow. I actually have guys approach hot girls and say stupid lines that have no chance of working then walk away, just to get them used to talking to hot girls (build confidence) and to get them used to being rejected (makes rejection less painful) and to exercise their sense of humor. So yea, making mistakes is good – we learn from them – and letting other’s know what mistakes we’ve made helps them too. Anyway, I liked your blog so much, would you mind if I put a link to your blog from my webpage?

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