By: Bob Neve

Bob Neve — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 21:35:58 +0000

Hey Kara,
I ran across your blog searching for that psycho the pickup artist — you have a great blog! I’m a therapist that helps people to build lasting relationships with people with whom they are comfortably matched. Sounds like you and Michael are happily coupled, and I very much like your advice here — you are right on. There are many simple rules that can help a guy find a girl, and like you say, it’s basically 1. talk to a lot of girls, respond to the ones that respond to you, don’t waste time with ones that don’t respond, looking for your match, not the hottest, richest, funniest girl in the room; 2. notice everything about the girl you’re with (not in a stalker kinda way, but in a fun way, pointing out how cute her good points and idiosyncrasies are), 3. confidence, being yourself, enjoying yourself, not taking yourself too seriously, having a sense of humor and fun, dressing like a casual person (no dirty tattered clothes and good shoes). What’s really interesting you say is “don’t let anyone advise you on your romantic life” — I see your point, I think, no one else can know what you see in another person and if they are right for you, … no one should ever say “she’s the one for you” or “you can do better than her”. People have to decide that for themselves. Your only point I have to disagree with is the “making lots of mistakes”, I find that I can help my clients by sharing with them the mistakes other people have made, letting them know what doesn’t work — and then helping them to chance the bad habits they can’t seem to control. What’s really interesting though, is one of my exercises I have my clients do is actually go to a bar and make mistakes to desensitize themselves – so when they do make mistakes, it wont be a big crushing blow. I actually have guys approach hot girls and say stupid lines that have no chance of working then walk away, just to get them used to talking to hot girls (build confidence) and to get them used to being rejected (makes rejection less painful) and to exercise their sense of humor. So yea, making mistakes is good – we learn from them – and letting other’s know what mistakes we’ve made helps them too. Anyway, I liked your blog so much, would you mind if I put a link to your blog from my webpage?

Comments on: The Pickup Artist Sucks

By: Bob Neve