Kara & Michael’s Blog

I read this earlier this week and felt the immediate need to take produce a tidal-wave of vomit, one that would wipe out every single person on the planet who thinks and feels the same way as the woman in charge of this chat.

It’s times like these I am grateful for Michael because we took everything in the complete opposite direction.

People of the world: it is NEVER polite to ask for gifts, especially money.

We did not throw a party (with the help of both our families) for gifts. We threw it to celebrate the joining of two families and to shove homemade crab dip, Sam’s cake and plenty of booze down everyone’s throats. It was small and intimate and anyone who wanted to get us a gift spoke with our parents or friends. No registry, no big deal.

The only reason anyone needs a registry is because they invited a whole lot of people they don’t know that well. And if you’re invited to the party of someone you don’t know that well and you don’t want to go empty-handed, just give them money. Everyone needs money.

These charity registries or buy-us-our-honeymoon registries and everything else are stupid. If you give me money, I can give it to charity or use it for my honeymoon or throw it into a savings account for a house, or blow it on hookers and blow. You’re not being a better or less-greedy person by registering for charities. You’re still asking for money.

And for people who complain about there not being a registry, grow up. How long have you been giving gifts? If you want to get someone something other than money, call them. Ask them what they need, what the colors are in their house. We got the sweetest gifts from people who sent us personal things with notes attached. For example, one of my aunts gave us a box of teabags with a note attached about how she and her husband used to drink tea together. It meant something.

And for couples who get something that isn’t “their style,” and you worry that someone “wasted their money,” grow up. Give it away to good-will or set it somewhere in your house. Sell it at a yard-sale. Someone was thoughtful enough to give you something they thought you would like. It’s like people never learned how to gracefully accept a gift. It’s not that hard.

Besides, I don’t want any company making money off my guests. Maybe I’m just a socialist or a liberal, but something about forcing your guests to give money to Target or Macy’s or Bed, Bath and Beyond just seems kind of shitty to me.

I also completely resist the idea that you need to get someone a shower gift, a wedding gift, an engagement gift. BAH! If you’re throwing that many goddamn parties you have too much money as it is, obviously. I also think anyone who cites a dollar amount as being a minimum is an asshole. Or someone who just doesn’t have working-class friends or friends with lots of kids. There is never a set-amount to a gift, because you’re supposed to give when you want to, as much as you want to (or can afford). I also think that if you pay to travel and buy a dress for a friend’s wedding, that person shouldn’t expect a gift from you. You gave them the bestest, most awesomest gift of all – your support on their wedding day.

I think everyone should have the stupid wedding they want (and can afford). If you want to throw away a metric butt-load of money on ONE DAY, go for it. But you shouldn’t expect your guests to thank you with their wallets, or complain if they do so without adhering to your stupid rules and regulations.

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