Kara & Michael’s Blog

I’ve been trawling around on Yahoo! Answers for the last week or so, collecting what I like to call the “worst” of the questions and answers that appear on the site. For what it’s worth, I’ve also been answering questions — in an attempt to offset the negative karma I am doubtless accruing by poking fun at my fellow human beings.

For this episode, I’ve collected questions that involve delusions and crazy myths — mostly from the “Mythology” section. As usual, if the original authors of any of these posts would like them removed from this site, just let me know.

For those who aren’t aware, Yahoo! Answers is a community question-and-answer site where members of the public can ask and answer questions on virtually any topic. For a more detailed explanation, visit the site or read at my first post on this topic.

Now, on to the questions!

No, but if it was, nobody here would know about it:

Is it true that north korea has a secret underground Nuclear weapon that if detonated will erase half the USA?

People’s ideas of witches seem to vary an awful lot:

Id love to be a white witch. How do i go about it?
Answer: Roll yourself in flour and wear a pointy hat
Answer: Stick a traffic cone on your head and paint your face white.
Answer: There is no such thing as Black Magic or White Witches. There are witches and magic, that’s it. So you want to become a witch, ask yourself why. What appeals to you most about being a witch? What sort of witch will you become? A Gardnerian, Alexandrian, Moon Witch, Hedgewitch, Greenwitch???? I recommend a book by a Witch called Kate West, called “Spell in your Pocket” it will help you decide on the path you wish to follow.
I recommend any books by Kate West, also Scott Cunningham and Rae Beth. Merry Meet and Blessed Be! [Source(s): I am a Hedgewitch.]

Sounds like God may be suffering from a persecution complex:

Why did God created tigers?
like if it’s so bad. what is a tiger for?
or like in short why did God created all evil?
(no reasoning of choices pls )
but answer the question why God created the tiger too.
thank you
Answer: Why did God create you, if all you do is CRITISISE Him. God created all ANIMALS, tigers too. evil was brought into the world by a WOMAN (Eve), and from then on there was always evil on Earth. GET A LIFE, GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally! A skeptic appears in the mythology section:

If psychics are real couldnt they have helped Heath Ledger?
I was thinking of the lady psychic who is always on Montell show and it got me thinking….. If there are real psychics out there. Couldnt they have contacted Heath Ledger and told him not to take pills? I mean they claim they can see the future, right? So why not help prevent a accidental death?….. Do you think their full of BS or like to stay out of Fates way???
Answer: That is so true! They could have prevented a lot of deaths… **cough cough** anna nicole

I found quite a few questioners who probably shouldn’t expect any useful responses:

Does anyone know how to get super powers?
if so, please post your method

Will someone please turn me into a werewolf?
i want to become a werewolf. someone please help me to achieve that.

HaVe yOu rEad aNy gOOd bOOkS LaTELy?? ?
Answer: MANG E BOOKS AINT FO PLAYAZ LIKE DIS BUSTLA RIDDIM HUNG JO WHOP YA

Am I Insane?
Do anyone think that, there is another person on this earth that is doing the same thing your doing acting the same way as you? And how many months is it all dark in Alaska?

Why did the Three Wise Men bring Jusus?
Coal, Frankenstien and Mirth ?

This is just awesome:

If a zombie had sex with a human, what would it be called?
Answer: sexual intercorpse
Answer: Pr0n Of The Dead
Answer: Michael Jackson

I don’t know whether the question or the answers are better here:

How Do Vampires Know It’s Virgin Blood?
How do vampires know they are sucking away at virgins?
Does something happen to your blood when you consumate a relationship?
Does your blood chemistry change?
Is it like olive oil?
Can you get Extra Virgin blood?
Who would have Extra Virgin blood?
Really old spinsters (they’ve had the chance to be a virgin even longer than everyone else)?
This is a question that needs answered if not for us then for future generations, our children, to curb the onset of vampire terrorism, which threatens our local communities in a way we can only guess at.
Answer: I am a vampire so I can answer this properly. I know that I don’t care who the hell the blood is from. I have drank for myself and other virgins and one or two girls who aren’t (people from my old school). There wasn’t any difference. The only difference in the taste is from what the person eats and how fat they are. Either way, if it’s there we will drink it. Unless you are sick or have AIDS or something like that.
Answer: There will be no chance of vampires round here, shouldnt think theres a virgin in 30 miles of Aldershot

And finally, kudos to the answerer of this question for drilling straight to the least plausible part of this myth:

Gorgonzola from foot sweat??
There is a folklore that gorgonzola was originaly made by Italian monks by scapping the sweat from their feet and mixing it with virgins milk, the king of Italy became a great fan of gorgonzola until he discovered how it was made and had them promptly executed. Anyone cast any light on this folklore? ;oD
Answer: It sounds like rubbish to me, Italian monks wore sandals.