Kara & Michael’s Blog

Ahh, Yahoo! Answers. A place where anyone can ask a question and have it answered by…well, anyone. When pressing personal problems confront you, why wait for the sage advice of Abby, Margo, Carolyn, Amy or myriad others, when you can have your question answered right now by the unwashed masses?

Yahoo! Answers is simultaneously one of the funniest and one of the saddest things on the Internet. Pouring through their archives has taught me just how messed up people’s families are, allowed me to briefly relive the pain of being an insecure adolescent, and shown me what it’s like to be truly insane. But mostly I have laughed, because most people are stupid and stupid people are funny.

Below are some of the choicest bits, in my humble opinion. These are real questions asked by (presumably) real people, and in some cases I’ve included one or more of the answers that were provided by members of the “community.” If the original authors of any of these posts would like them removed from this site, please let me know.

This person has a very serious problem:

I need pictures of the evolution of the windmill!!!! PLZ!!!!?
Can anyone get the pictures of the evolution of the windmill????????

This person is looking for help making thermite:

What masses of iron(III) oxide and aluminum must be used to make 14.0 g of
iron?Fe2O3 + 2Al > 2 Fe+Al2O3?

Yahoo! Answers is good for even the most complex technical questions…

Best configuration pc with quad core processor >?
hi all.
i want a pc with best configration,
i want the quad core processor
could sme one suggest me the best motherboard for it
and waht add on wich ll give the best and enormous fast

…and for relationship advice:

So i just started dating this amazing girl and i wondering what can i do to blow her mind for valintines day?

Answer: haha…you said “blow”
Answer: give her cadys and a bear, take her somewhere amazing that she love to go, there is the perfect valintimes day!
Answer: get her chocolates with some ruphies in em

Even philosophical questions are met with simple answers:

What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

Answer: Shoot it in its leg

If God gave you a million dollars, would you spend it on a new house, or 250,000 cups of coffee?

Answer: A new house with a coffee-maker.

Homework troubles? No problem — Yahoo! Answers is a bastion of accuracy:

What is the largest organ the human body has? Why is it so remarkable?

Answer: the penis becuase it can get women pregnat and give them pleasure in more than 1 way, jklol, i dont really know, i think it is the Large intestine

Some people just have offensive rhetorical questions to get off their chests:

Should white liberals be offered to African-Americans as slaves?
Both sides seem to want this arrangement, so why not just do it and be done with it? I think many African-Americans would love to have one of our “culchas & gwoups” white liberal “men” washing their dishes for them, wearing only a mini-skirt! lol An African-American woman can sit back and sip her coffee while one of these white man-bitches is on his knees parroting all latest the lines from marxist social scientists. hahahaha!!!

Some people seem to be up to no good:

CaN u DrInK HyDrOcHlOrIc AcId WiThOuT DiEiNg?
HEHE JUST WONDERING

How long can a person stay in a warehouse deep freezer?

And some people just have more problems than strangers on the Internet can help with:

What should i do about my dad?
long story well my dad came to live with us as he couldnt afford to keep the house because he was getting 300 pound phone bills he uses his phone to talk to women on dating site he sent out 1, 500 to a women in nigeria who said she would use it for a flight and then said she had an accident and was hit by a car then the second time got mugged he sends money out to lots of women which is why he couldnt keep the house so any way move in with me my boyfriend and our 6 month old son my boyfriend and us were going up to yorkshire for xmas because thats where my family live so i said we would take him to then he asked if we would pick a girl we dont know up to take her to yorkshire i said ok but ull have to give us some petrol money and he said im not giving u any money stormed off up stairs saying i thought ud want me to have someone for xmas but i guess not then took his stuff and stormed out he’d had 7 pints am i wrong to not want him in the house unless he apologises?

That’s all for now.