Nov 01 2006
Rockstar Zero Carb
I enjoy the occasional energy drink. Y’know, those sixteen-ounce vats of caffeine- and herb-laden high fructose corn syrupy goodness. Anyway, I found an interesting new variety of Rockstar brand energy drink today: “Rockstar Zero Carb.” Mmm, no sugar. After popping it open and taking a sip, which I must say I found unusually pleasant, I bothered to read the label copy:
The world’s most powerful energy drink just got more powerful! We’ve stepped up the energy with 50% more caffeine and cut the carbs and calories to keep those with active lifestyles lean and fully charged.
Oh, for crying out loud. So then I read the nutrition facts label, where I find the following information:
Taurine – 1000mg
Caffeine – 120mg
Green Tea Extractives – 100mg
L-Carnitine – 25mg
Yerba Mate Leaf Extract – 25mg
Some energy drinks contain silly crap like ginseng and guarana. Not this one – it’s pretty much straight caffeine. The thing that bothers me is that “green tea extractives” and “yerba mate leaf extract” can here both be assumed to mean “caffeine,” so the total caffeine content of this drink is about 245mg. Per eight ounces. That’s half a can. Does anybody actually drink half of one of these things?
So we’re talking about 490mg of effective caffeine in this can. This is the equivalent of six Red Bulls. Four to six cups of brewed coffee. Five shots of espresso. Seven 16-ounce bottles of Mountain Dew. Twenty-two 8-ounce glass bottles of Coca-Cola Classic. One and a half gallons of green tea. With the possible exception of the coffee, nobody would be stupid enough to consume enough of any equivalent beverage to equal the caffeine content of Rockstar Zero Carb.
I feel that Rockstar’s current warning label (“Not recommended for pregnant women or persons sensitive to caffeine”) is inadequate. 490mg of caffeine is well above the amount (300mg) considered by the FDA to be a safe daily intake, which also happens to be the amount above which harm has been shown to unborn children. It is nearly twice the average daily caffeine intake of an American adult. In one can. Consuming two cans of Rockstar Zero Carb within a 24-hour period delivers 980mg of daily caffeine, which could cause a host of unpleasant physical symptoms. I propose the following simple warning label:
Government Warning: This shit will kill you.
Mmm, heart palpitations.
Do government warning labels really suit your libertarian sensibilities?
hahaha, that is so sad its funny. I can’t believe it! that shouldn’t be legal!
Personally, I think if you’re stupid enough to drink one of those without considering your health, the world is probably better off with you dead. Malthus once again rears his cold head.
Ok… I was drinking this stuff and it splashed in my eye… It kinda stung for a few seconds, but it felt fine, but now my eye feels kinda funny, am I screwed?
I don’t think it’s likely to damage your eye. You should probably be more worried about asking for medical advice on some random person’s blog.